SAN FRANCISCO – Americans don’t trust government or

corporations with their privacy, Pew Survey says. Technically Incorrect: Only 6

percent of adults say they are “very confident” that government

agencies will keep their records secure.

We cheerily give away our personal information every day.

Often, we don’t even know where it ends up or who can see

it. Yet here we are claiming that we don’t trust anybody. There’s something

touching about our ability to elevate our hypocrisy to glorious levels.

This is surely one conclusion to be reached after reading the Pew Report on privacy, security and surveillance,

published Wednesday.

Apparently, 93 percent of American adults declare that

“being in control of who can get information about them is

important.” How odd, then, that those 93 percent (if not more) have

apparently given zero percent thought to how to maintain that control.

Instead, we search, online shop, post gloriously vital

information to Facebook and then think not at all in whose (and how many) hands

it ends up.

In this survey, 90 percent of Americans also insisted that

controlling what information was collected about them was important. But we’ve

never been too good at addressing the important things in life, have we?

Naturally, the deeper the researchers delved, the more these

respondents expressed their discomfort.

A mere 6 percent claimed to be “very confident”

that government agencies can keep their personal information secure, as well as

private. A further 25 percent, however, said they were “somewhat

confident.”

When confidence is qualified by the word

“somewhat,” it’s like green being qualified by the word

“black.”

But we’re not just worried about governments. Not at all. A

mere (and perhaps the same mere) 6 percent of respondents claimed to be

“very confident” that landline phone companies would keep their data

private. Even fewer — 5 percent — felt that way about cell phone providers. A

painful 1 percent were very confident about their social networks being secure

with their data.

However, a fulsome 9 percent were very confident about their

credit card companies.

Some might imagine that this is like being in a marriage

where we know our spouse is cheating, but we just don’t want to think about it.

As my evidence, may I

point to the very same Pew Survey and offer that 91 percent of these

respondents said they had changed precisely zero in their phone and Web

behavior to address these alleged discomforts.

Pew’s methodology relies on collecting data (securely and

privately, I imagine) from various sources. It says the majority of this report

relies on information culled from 498 adults aged 18 and over who were examined

between August 5 and September 2 last year. A further survey was conducted

early this year — between January 27 and February 16 — among 461 adults aged

18 and over.

This Memorial Day weekend, you might reach for a great

American novel to ease you through. You might catch up on deep and serious

movies or TV shows that evoke what our nation has become today.

But there are surely few more-expressive expositions of the

human condition and its slight shortcomings than this Pew Survey.

We care deeply. We worry constantly. And what do we do about

it? Why, nothing. We’re too busy online shopping.

And somewhere Edward Snowden must wonder whether it was all

worth it.